annjuulaa's Xanga

2008

Sat, 10 Jan 2009 18:20:20 GMT

Okay, I know that I'm over a week late; 10 days to be exact and today is my Baba's bday too! Happy 71st Birthday, Baba. However, I still wanted to list out some of my highlights of 2008. This list is definitely not everything and there are certainly much more to say about each, but what a crazy year it has been. What a year...

1. First time snowboarding and maybe my last. Okay, maybe not 'cause I still had fun down the slopes...but boy do I hate those ski lifts. :p

2. First egg van road trip to Seattle on Easter Monday.

3. I have faith that we'll be okay..."Bleeding Love" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-ctIC65PV0

4. Bethel Teens Camp @ Camp Capilano

5. Hong Kong

6. ICC short term missions trip: Hengyang, China (theme: "Soaring Above")

The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, and self control.
Galatians 5:22-23

7. TAR2

8. COTiversary video surprise

9. "Four weddings and a Funeral"
             -Sylvia & Kenny
             -David & Grace
             -Andrea & Brooks
             -Darren & Michelle
             -R.I.P. Chummy

10. Baba and Popo's hospital visits

11. 24th Surprise bday party

12. Las Vegas

13. BiggiE

My beloved, Chummy.

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 08:00:00 GMT

To my beloved, Chummy:
I will miss the way you stuffed tissue into your cheek pockets; the way you ran into walls whenever you were placed inside your ball; the way you sniffed my scent before climbing onto my palm; the way you entertained my family and friends; and the way you kept close to me whenever I let you ran free.
Have fun playing with Mimi, Hammy, Brandy, Potato, and Jojo. R.I.P.
Miss you, my beloved friend.

Chummy Chan
2006-Nov. 15, 2008

Soaring Above- China Mission's trip summer 2008

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 03:14:00 GMT

This year, I had the privilege to go out and serve Christ. Where did He place me to show His love? China, that's where. Going to China on a missions trip was such a wonderful experience. God has really blessed me and I was lucky to go with the other 4 people from my church.
Before this started, I was informed that we were to go and run a summer camp for the orphans in China. This was just one of the ways to show how great God's love is for His children. I was told to go in with an open mind and to allow God to use me in anyways possible.

It wasn't until we got off the plane and bussed down to the rural city in China did it finally hit me that we were on a mission's trip to serve God.
The minute we arrived at the summer camp location, I felt at home. I had received the same feeling DG had when he first stepped foot into China.
At the camps, we prepared for games, crafts, refreshments, and drama skits with a wonderful team that I** had put together along with the help of E**.

When it was time to finally meet the first set of campers, God had really opened my eyes. The first time I cried was when I saw that bus full of China orphans pull up to the summer camp location with their arms stretched outside their window and waving their hands at us. It was such a wonderful sight to see how excited they were.
What I didn't expect at the camp was that many of the orphans were disabled physically, mentally, and/or emotionally. I also did not expect such a huge age range within the groups of campers. My first "buddy" was 24 years old; she was the same age as me. Those 3 days spent closely together really sprung up a good friendship blessed by God.

I knew we had to look after an individual, but I didn't realize that we were to be actual child care workers and supporters for those in need. With God's grace and mercy, He gave each of the I** helpers' strength and patience. Everyone was very supportive of each other and if we needed time out, God provided extra helping hands so that we would have the rest we needed.
It was amazing to see some of the campers actually say the prayer to God and accepting Him as their personal Savior. It was amazing to see some of the campers ask for the Bible or to want to know more about Jesus.
It was amazing that even though we were singing praise songs in mandarin loud enough for the local people to hear and locals would ask why foreigners were around the area, God still protected our identity to keep these camps going.
The difficult times came during our goodbyes when it was time for the campers to head back to their homes at the orphanage. It was painful to watch the campers leave in tears and it was quite an emotional time for everyone. I felt bad for saying goodbye because it felt like I was abandoning them and they had to relive their own story of abandonment all over again. However, I learned that the summer camp was a place where they could hear about the Gospel. Stepping outside of the orphanage building allowed the campers to freely express themselves. Having close contact with a Christian camp helper really allowed them to experience God's love, hope, and freedom. It also allowed me to experience that as well being with my Buddy. I am truly blessed by God with parents who supports me with the decisions that I make in my life.

I really want to thank all the supporters who had us in mind while were on this mission's trip. Thanks to those who supported us through funding and prayers.
God's love was definitely shown in my life much bigger than what I could ever imagine and really, nothing is impossible through Him.

Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of His understanding.
He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31 (NLT)

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Thu, 10 Jul 2008 21:07:17 GMT

I have faith that we'll be okay.

A-Beng

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 05:35:44 GMT

Working in the fitting room of a retail store really allows you to get to know the people who walk in.
As a sales associate, it's my job to provide them the best service possible by creating a welcoming environment and to be attentive to their needs.
Today, a young boy (about 12 years old) came into the changing room alone while the rest of his family shopped within the store. Later he popped his head out of his room hoping to seek for an opinion. I looked at him and asked:
Me: Hi, are you looking for someone?
Boy: Yes, my mom.
Me: Oh, I can go find her. What does she look like?
Boy: Like me! (...and with his index finger, he proudly pointed to his face.)

I couldn't help but think about my Baba. Growing up, my dad always called me, Bebe or A-Beng. For the longest time, my sister and I thought he called me A-Beng because I kept falling on my head; hence the pronunciation, "A-Bang".
However, just a few years ago we had discovered that the translation of it really meant, carbon copy. Well, sorta, it's missing another Chinese character to fully complete the meaning.

My dad and I are very similar in looks and personality. I looked so much like him when I was little. The only difference was the fact that I was a girl. Ya, I was a pretty ugly baby...not to say that my dad is ugly! Haha...but ya, I wasn't exactly the kid you would call, Princess.

Anyhoo, there are many similar traits my dad and I share:
the way we eat; the amount we eat ; sleep (or lack of); drive (crazy road rage...and just plain crazy), talk, think, act, and do.
There are many times where I find it hard to get along with my dad...many many times. But I know that it's probably because he and I are pretty much the same person. At the same time, I'm very proud of who he has become and I'm proud to be his daughter.
He is my Baba and I am his Bebe.

Today's date

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 00:02:00 GMT

Exactly a year ago from today, I was introduced to an abandoned office where I tried my hardest to make a friend ...well, more like grow a friend, 'cause it was simply too lonely there. May my poor plant rest in peace.

Exactly a year ago from today, I went for my first dress fitting after my sister and her bridesmaids had finally picked out our dresses for her wedding.

Exactly ten months ago from today, I was the only child left living with my parents.

Exactly four months ago from today, I applied for my Associate of Arts degree from Langara College to say that I had finally accomplished something for all those years I was there.

Exactly three months ago from today, I forgot about the world and had a very relaxing spring break.

Exactly two months ago from today, it was my last weekend before I went on my own.

Exactly a month from today, I will be leaving on a jet plane soaring high into the sky and flying across to the other side of the world. There, I hope to make many friends of all ages, from different backgrounds, and have many stories to share. There, I hope to make at least one orphan smile. There, I hope to show/share with an orphan what "God's unconditional love" means. There, I hope to do what Jesus would do.

Exactly a year from today, I hope to look back at the impact I had on the kids and the impact they had on me. I hope to continue to serve God with all my heart. I hope to continue my attendance at COTs, Friday fellowships, and Sandwich Runs with JC and Gracie. I hope to have improved on my guitar playing so I would get more than a nickel in my guitar case. I hope for happiness to continue for all my friends and family. I hope to have mend broken friendships. I hope to have found some direction. I hope to be smiling.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 01:38:00 GMT

I walk into a room…

Bottles breaking, glass shattering, dishes smashing, pens scratching, clay pots cracking, cars screeching, nails clawing, paper cutting deep into my skin…

…and I scream at the top of my lungs.

In a room…make it stop and let me out.

My body, mind, and soul…torn.

Lift me up, Lord. Please, lift me up.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 01:00:00 GMT

Let's see now...
What do I want to be when I grow up? ....
...
I want to be...hmm...
I want to be...umm...

There were certain careers I had always wanted to shoot for, so just to list a few:
Actress, Veterinarian, Ecologist, Flight Attendant, Sunday School teacher in Africa

These were jobs that I thought of going into, but never fully made it:
Bartender, Teacher, Nurse

Instead, I landed myself in these career paths:
Food server, Teacher's aid, Sales Associate, Secretary for an abandoned office

What I see myself doing in the next 10+ years:
Just blogging about what I'll be doing 10 years after.

Decision making is and had always been a difficult task for me. For as long as I could remember, I was never able to make up my mind about where I wanted to be or what I wanted to do. I really don't know who I am.
Everytime I do make a decision, I can't help but look back and ask "What if I chose that path instead?"
I know that God will always be there with me and blessing me in whatever path I do choose to go to.
I don't regret my decisions that I do make or the actions that I do take. I know that for every action taken, there was always a reason for it, and that was just the way I felt at the time. I usually go for my gut instinct but many times I would take the wrong path and have to reverse. I'm usually an impulsive actor. I act before I think it fully through. I just don't learn.

I even took a career counseling program a few years back and thought I was back on my feet. For a little while, I did feel like I was heading toward somewhere with goals set to achieve and life was good. Now, about 3 years have gone by and I'm still the same. I was going through some old blog entries and realized that one year ago, I was blogging about being lost. Well, here I am once again.

I think I really need to get away. I will be going on a missionary trip to Changsha, China end of July-mid Aug. for about a month. There, I'll be visiting an orphanage and will be helping out in a summer program for the kids. Maybe after that, my perspective on life will change.

There are many things I am so grateful for such as caring parents who didn't abandon me because I was a girl, a big house where I know I'll be kept safe, food to eat, great friends who I can always call up if I need someone to talk to....

At the same time, I need to get out and live out life on my own. Where shall I go? Hmm...so many places to choose from.
Things to pack: Bible, Chummy, and camera. Ok, I'm set. Wait, I should bring my guitar with me just in case I have to get around by playing outside the liquor stores. Realistically I'm too poor to go anywhere, but I really feel that I need to get away. I've been feeling trapped, depressed, and lonely. How can I feel that way, when there is so much here for me and I know I'm lucky to have... I guess I take life for granted and in order for me to fully appreciate it, I have to lose it.
I have lost a lot that was very important to my heart. Some of it, I chose to let go to gain happiness and only wish for happiness for people whom I said g'bye to.

I think I'll be "finding myself" for a very very long time...

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Sun, 18 May 2008 21:53:56 GMT

What a week...

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 06:32:26 GMT

Tonight I witnessed an attack and called the police. Ok, maybe I should take my readers back a few steps, but just to let you know, I'm ok. :)
Btw, be prepared because this blog is gonna be a long one...plus, I haven't blogged in a long while so I'm making this one count. ;)

It was Friday evening and I was debating whether to drive or bus to fellowship at church. However, the decision didn't take long after considering the ridiculous increase in fuel prices, and I figure that I had paid quite a bit for my monthly pass that I might as well put it to good use.

I joined one of the younger fellowships tonight at my church and they were sharing about their weeks.
When it was my turn, I shared about how I got screwed over by Oasis Hong Kong Airlines at the beginning of my week. >:( They announced it had gone into liquidation just 2 days after I bought my plane tickets. What the heck?! I'm heading to HK and China for a missions trip with ICC this summer, and it was very frustrating to see that the money generously donated from supporters may not be reclaimed. I felt horrible because my mom didn't approve of this trip; yet, she loved me and loved God so much enough to put her worries into God's hands and supported my decision. She also helped me prepay my tickets and bargain a great price for it, which is something I could never have done because I'm just not Chinese enough. :p Anyhoo, how horrible is that of Oasis to be so dishonest?? They continued selling tickets even throughout the morning they had made their announcement. I went back to my travel agent (who is very kind, patient, and fair) the day after to find solutions, and even she started to vent. She was upset and wanted to make it clear to her clients that it wasn't their fault for selling them tickets with Oasis Air. Clients come in and they choose which airline they want to fly with. Then travel agents are there to offer their help with how they can make the trip suitable for the client. However, I'm sure many of the clients cared less; therefore, lashed out on the travel agency. This whole situation has been very frustrating and my agent has been trying her hardest to get our $ back. Now I have to wait till this weekend is over for any updates. ...praying hard.

Ok, so I guess I shall move onto what I had originally wanted to say when I first started this blog. So back to my night after fellowship ended. I decided to leave earlier so I could go home to finish off assignments and start my studies for upcoming exams. Waiting for the bus can be quite a pain at night since buses don't run as often. Because my church is located near 41st and Kingsway, I had a few options on which bus to take home. I decided to take what I thought would have been the safest route for me: skytrain to Metrotown and transfer onto the 49th bus, which would then take me all the way home.
When I arrived at the bus loop at Metrotown, I had to wait an extra 25mins for the 49 to arrive since I missed the one just minutes before. As I stood in line waiting, I thought to myself, "Wow, there are a lot of people waiting at this bus loop; what are the chances of anything bad happening right now?" ....me and my big mouth (head in this case). :p
A man walked out of Metrotown shouting at people and was being disruptive. He kept his hands together at his back as if he was handcuffed. He came up to my lineup, shouted out nonsense (something about we are all humans), and started coming really close to those in line, including me. I tried my best to avoid him, but it was very distracting since he stood right beside. Finally the bus arrived, and I was relieved to see such a jolly looking bus driver (can almost pull off a Santa if he had a beard) :P. Anyhoo, the driver noticed the man, who was obviously high on something, and told him that if he wanted to get on the bus he would have to pay the proper amount in bus fare, and to treat the rest of the passengers with respect. At that time, I had got on and sat in the middle. Suddenly, the man attacked my bus driver, punching him and kicking him several times. The bus driver tried his hardest to fight off the crazy loon, and honked his horn to warn transit security. Unfortunately, no one dared to help the bus driver out in the fight. :( The minute I saw more than one kick to the driver, I called up the police and told them what I had just witnessed. The Jerkface took off as soon as he saw security and the driver was forced to have everyone off the bus. I felt really bad for my driver 'cause I saw bruises on his face just before he took off with the empty bus. I imagined what was going through his head: "Quit the job 'cause it's too dangerous...It's a well paid job, but is it really worth it?...I don't deserve this crap...I'm going to pound that guy in the face next time I see him."...etc. :(

I really hope police caught the guy, but it makes me sad to see that the guy is in such a bad state himself. It makes me wonder what he has been through. This world honestly needs help....God, have mercy.

I ended up waiting for another 30 mins for the next bus. What a night and by then it had been over an hour since I last left the church doors. Jesus is definitely coming back soon 'cause this world is out of control. As I thought that to myself I started to feel a little shaky (probably the adrenalin rush of it all). At the same time, I felt scared and alone. God heard my cry for help and He came. A girl stood beside me in line and we got into a conversation about the whole situation. She became a friend and we got talking about our own lives. She was also a Christian and had moved out here from Edmonton...shortly after her apartment back home was broken into. *sigh*....why can't crime just rest for just one darn day?! ARGH! I'm just so upset and frustrated right now because I feel absolutely helpless knowing that I live in a corrupt world. There are so many many thoughts going through my head and if I was to blog it all out, Xanga would never go out of business. It's times like these where you wonder, why do bad things happen to good people? Well, at the moment I can't seem to answer that; however, in the back of my head and in my heart I know God is there with the good things. This is life and we choose the way we want to walk. I'm praying extra hard tonight for the people caught in this whole fiasco.

In the end, the bus ride home was quite an enjoyable one thanks to my new friend that sat with me on the bus. Guess my night didn't turn out that badly afterall. I was safe; I was heard; and I was comforted. Thanks, God. :)